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Here's what I know about computers: they are rectangular, or made of rectangular components, light comes from their screens, and they do not come with instruction books.
When there is a problem, I have no idea how to solve it. Let's face it, most of us pass computer troubleshooting information the same way we pass diet information: we tend to talk earnestly about what worked best for our hairdresser's nephew, or what Aunt Mary swears by. My computer has been getting slower and slower since I bought it, for no discernible reason. I talked with friends and got all kinds of theories, but none seemed to apply. Now, I realize that being 5 years old, this computer is extinct, but even so, I'm only using half the memory and just starting up, without running any programs, was taking forever. Honestly, my spinning wheel went faster.
Luckily for me, one of Chris's closest friends, let's call him EggSalad, is a generous soul with a doctorate in computer science. His suspicion was that I had some sort of malicious software like spyware, and his advice was to do a full system restore. Actually, his advice was to bring it to him to do a full system restore. I am thankful and relieved that he did because
a) it was nerve-wracking as all get out because it involved wiping everything off the computer, and then starting over with re-installing windows, and
b) it took long enough to wipe and reinstall everything (like all those bloody windows updates) that I had enough time to knit the foot of this sock:and we all went for sushi while it loaded stuff. EggSalad is now my hero. He wanted no money for this, and even offered to pay for our dinner because we had travelled an hour and a half to do this and it was my birthday. We didn't let him. Anyone else with his qualifications would have charged us approximately my week's pay.
Because of EggSalad, now when I start my computer it's like this
I can't believe the difference, it's like having a new computer. In a fit of excess, I also bought more RAM (not the intact male sheep, the kind of computer memory) so it's really really fast. Web pages now start loading with pictures, not 5 minutes before the pictures deign to show up. Now, every time I start the computer, that weird kid shows up and whispers, "zoom zoom."
Thanks EggSalad, you know who you are!